New Breathalyzer Screens For Illness

A team of researchers affiliated with the National Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST) is developing a new breathalyzer that can screen for illness. However, the news was tempered by the announcement that the General Manager of NIST, Barney Blowhard, has been fired. A spokesperson for NIST commented, "Blowhard was let go because he was full of hot air. His employees complained about three aspect's of Blowhard's personality - 1. he couldn't contain his temper as he was always blowing his stack; 2. his ego was too big - he was constantly blowing his own trumpet; and 3. he was inconsistent - he seemed to blow hot and cold." NIST's employees believe that the GM's departure is a big blow to them but they can breathe easier as a replacement has been found. Her name is Wanda Long-Winded. The NIST spokesperson continued, "I know that our employees have been waiting with baited breath for Blowhard's replacement and they'll find Long-Winded to be a breath of fresh air. While Long-Winded doesn't walk on air, she'll never put on airs or vanish into thin air and will never hold grudges as she will always try to clear the air." Long-Winded wasn't available for comment as she was taking a breather before starting her new job.   www.pundamania.com