Manufacturers of sneakers are claiming that new "toning shoes" are the answer to firmimg up America's butts. Industry critic Ashley "Bum" Rapp stated, "These Skechy people making these claims are a bunch of heels with no soles who are a bunch of goody two-shoes. Converse-ly speaking, they don't know the very Asics of business and they couldn't New Balance their books if their lives depended on it". Many industry insiders, however, feel that Rapp is a pain in the butt who has cracked under pressure. Adidas spokesperson Flip Flopowicz responded, "Rapp is an anal-retentive cheeky asshole with a bad case of assid reflux. He's hit rock bottom - his words smell of desperation. I wish he'd stop making a stink about this matter". Flopowicz feels that many would get a kick out of Rapp getting a kick in his pants for trying to kick up a storm over toning shoes. Sneakers manufacturers will continue to respond to their critics' accusations - no ifs, whats and butts about it.