The Canadian Journal of Cardiology has published an article warning that egg yolks have a lot of cholesterol and could be harmful for people at risk of heart attack and stroke. Dick "Rooster" Klegg, spokesperson for the Egg Farmers of Canada stated, "In this case, the Journal has laid an egg and I intend to get cracking and deal with these cock-sure bastards. After I finish with the authors, they will all have egg on their faces as I intend to expose the phony scheme that they have hatched". Author Denise Quayle, who scrambled to catch a bus to be on time for our interview, was obviously walking on eggs when she replied, "Klegg is a hen-pecked idiot who, as far as I'm concerned, can go sit on it. He looks at the dark side of life while I see things as sunnyside up. We looked at many research studies before we published our article because we didn't want to put all our eggs in one basket. Klegg thinks that he has cooked our goose but I caution him not to count his eggs before they're hatched". In egging Quayle on, Klegg has come out of his shell and is no longer chicken to speak his mind. However, Quayle believes that now the chickens are coming home to roost with the exposure of the health risks associated with eating egg yolks. www.pundamania.com
Eternal Vessel, a Victoria, B.C- based company, has a unique business importing decorative urns from Indonesia and Vietnam. However, rumours persist that the four partners, Terry and Vicky Ashe and Karen and Todd Dust, are squabbling. Terry Ashe commented, "We have to stop the in-fighting and bury the hatchet,otherwise corporate urnings will suffer. What started out as some mild disagreements has become a matter of life and death and, if unchecked, will turn into a grave matter that will be a very bad urning point in our relationship. This could be the company's kiss of death". Todd Dust, speaking in the dead of the night, countered, "I can dig the fact that the Ashes want to reconcile but I wish they'd take a powder. I've unearthed their plot to get rid of us and that's quite unacceptable tomb me. I don't want to beat a dead horse but, as far as I'm concerned, their proposal is dead in the water". Consultant Ed Vessel analyzed the situation by saying, "Building this business is a monument to both the Ashes' and Dusts' cremativity. They'll have to urn to better communicate with one another, starting Ashes to Ashes and Dust to Dust".www.pundamania.com
Okanagan Specialty Fruits, a British Columbia biotechnology company, has developed non-browning apples. Critic Ruby Smith, concerned that a gene-modified apple is dangerous, said, "This non-browning apple is the pits and stems from a core of researchers at Okanagan Specialty Fruits who were fruity to begin with". Smith, who was born in the big Apple and who loves to work on McIntosh computers, continued, "I don't want to upset the applecart but this idea is ripe for exploitation by some juiced-up rotten apples who took some seed money and tried to harvest it only for the sake of making a profit. It only takes one rotten apple to spoil the barrel. How do you like them apples?" Ruby's grandmother, Granny Smith, who considers her Delicious grand-daughter to be the apple of her eye, responded, "Ruby is being a little picky. She is a little browned off, sees red and has the blues when she thinks about gene-modified apples. Perhaps she's green with envy but this isn't a black-and-white issue - maybe her past has colored her emotions". I ask my readers, "What cider you on in this matter?"www.pundamania.com
