Dylan Ribkoff, grandson of renowned designer Joseph Ribkoff, has launched an upscale men's underwear line. Retail spokesperson Joy Stick, talking to us over lunch at Long John's, commented, "Personally, I didn't think that Ribkoff had the balls to launch this line of underwear. This is a prickly situation and I'm not sure if this line will fly. Upscale underwear is a stretch and Ribkoff appears to be cock-sure that this new line's life will not be brief. Many retailers think that he is nuts so, in the end, they might end up giving him the shaft". Ribkoff spokesman P.P. Putz, an accomplished boxer who is proud of his manhood, countered, "Joy Stick is being too hard on us and doesn't seem to know the difference between right and thong. We're confident that our package will stick out on retail shelves and will have a big impact. Consumer demand for underwear tends to be elastic and so we will pecker away at our competitors' market shares." Many analysts on Wall Street are optimistic about the new line provided that the company is not jockstrapped for cash. www.pundamania.com
The Canadian Journal of Cardiology has published an article warning that egg yolks have a lot of cholesterol and could be harmful for people at risk of heart attack and stroke. Dick "Rooster" Klegg, spokesperson for the Egg Farmers of Canada stated, "In this case, the Journal has laid an egg and I intend to get cracking and deal with these cock-sure bastards. After I finish with the authors, they will all have egg on their faces as I intend to expose the phony scheme that they have hatched". Author Denise Quayle, who scrambled to catch a bus to be on time for our interview, was obviously walking on eggs when she replied, "Klegg is a hen-pecked idiot who, as far as I'm concerned, can go sit on it. He looks at the dark side of life while I see things as sunnyside up. We looked at many research studies before we published our article because we didn't want to put all our eggs in one basket. Klegg thinks that he has cooked our goose but I caution him not to count his eggs before they're hatched". In egging Quayle on, Klegg has come out of his shell and is no longer chicken to speak his mind. However, Quayle believes that now the chickens are coming home to roost with the exposure of the health risks associated with eating egg yolks. www.pundamania.com
