Dylan Ribkoff, grandson of renowned designer Joseph Ribkoff, has launched an upscale men's underwear line. Retail spokesperson Joy Stick, talking to us over lunch at Long John's, commented, "Personally, I didn't think that Ribkoff had the balls to launch this line of underwear. This is a prickly situation and I'm not sure if this line will fly. Upscale underwear is a stretch and Ribkoff appears to be cock-sure that this new line's life will not be brief. Many retailers think that he is nuts so, in the end, they might end up giving him the shaft". Ribkoff spokesman P.P. Putz, an accomplished boxer who is proud of his manhood, countered, "Joy Stick is being too hard on us and doesn't seem to know the difference between right and thong. We're confident that our package will stick out on retail shelves and will have a big impact. Consumer demand for underwear tends to be elastic and so we will pecker away at our competitors' market shares." Many analysts on Wall Street are optimistic about the new line provided that the company is not jockstrapped for cash. www.pundamania.com
Are exercise balls useful? As a precautionary measure, I recommend the following:
1. In unpacking your balls, handle with extreme care. Don't blow too hard when inflating them.
2. When touching your balls, don't squeeze too hard - exercise shouldn't be painful.
3. Remember that your balls deliver more bang for the buck than ordinary exercise.
4. Avoid excess moisture on your balls - the clean-up is too messy.
5. Avoid storing your balls in damp, dark places - expose your balls to light as often as possible.
6. Break new balls in slowly - balls take time to be rigid and perform well.
7. Please - one person per set of balls - too many people will drive you nuts.
8. If your balls remain flacid over a long period of time, get help - this will be a stroke of genius.
Over the years, I have modified my exercise routine to make regular use of my balls.
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