Thursday, February 10, 2011

Green Mountain Roasters Buys Van Houtte

Fast-growing, Vermont-based Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. has acquired Canadian coffee company Van Houtte. Industry insiders have roasted Green Mountain management over the acquisition. Green Mountain President Yolanda Capp-Pacino, an expert in Java programming and no average Joe, responded, "This idea has been percolating for several years. Some told us that Van Houtte was not worth a hill of beans but we decided to grind it out. The truth is that we really like Van Houtte a latte and there's no point crying over spilt milk." The industry insider who spilled the beans, Max W. House, didn't have an axe to grind - he put his nose to the grindstone over this deal that had been brewing for years. House, limping due to a sprained decaf muscle, said, "This deal isn't quite my cup of tea although Green Mountain will be acquiring an excellent crop of well-grounded managers who don't give a Van Houtte about what others have to say". I give a very big Sanka to House for being able to espresso himself so eloquently   - without filtering his thoughts.

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