Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Philip Morris Might Sue Australian Government

Tobacco giant Philip Morris is seriously considering suing the Australian government over its plans to introduce plain, brand-less packaging for cigarettes. Philip Morris CEO, Nick O. Teen, the hardened executive who recently received a plaque for sticking to his principles, commented that, "I wish that the Australian government would butt out of our business. I will tar and feather any government official who pipes up with this crap and stokes the public's fears. These guys seem to be addicted to controversy but, in the end, their efforts will go to pot." Australian government official, Cecilia Ashe-Trey, sitting on her Chesterfield at home in her town of Newport was looking kind of Kool as she said, "Teen should filter his comments before he lights up with such burning rhetoric. Tobacco industry executives tend to be dirty Player's and cancers on society that get me smoking mad. I was thinking of patching things up with him but, after his comments - close but no cigar. What a drag." Philip Morris is anticipating that there's a Virginia Slims chance that its workers will go on a rotating Lucky Strike at its Kent, Salem and Winston plants,  which could cast a Pall Mall over its situation with the Australian government - causing the company to lose its ad-Vantage.


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