Sunday, September 4, 2011
A biologist at Wageningen University in Holland estimates Dutch drivers kill approximately 133 billion bugs a month. Dutch drivers are outraged at the implications of this research. Dutch resident Maartje Silver-Fish, an aphid Beetles fan, angrily declared, "These academic cockroaches have created lots of buzz by publishing this research. I'd like to scratch this research from the records and let them start from scratch because I'm afraid that the biologists are only scratching the surface. It really bugs me that these high and mite-y academics would make a last itch effort to create such a controversy." Wageinghen biologist Gnat B. Moth, a WASP and huge Sting fan who recently married a black widow, countered that, "We're no fly-by-night operation. The university is a beehive of activity and our research is the bee's knees. This controversy is a tem-pest in a teapot and it really ticks me off. I wish that Sliver-Fish would flea the country." It's clear that, as a result of Silver-Fish's outburst, Moth has ants in his pants but he plans to soldier on rather than drive off into the distance.