The following letters were recently auctioned off for one million dollars by the combined estates of the Beatles:
Hey Jude,
I know you’re cheating and so you have made my life Helter Skelter. All your affairs with Sexy Sadie, Long Tall Sally, Penny Lane, Lovely Rita, that Dear Prudence, Lady Madonna, Eleanor Rigby and that dreadful
Lucie in the Sky with Diamonds have made me go for Help. I became suicidal, thinking that Happiness is a Warm Gun and I dreamt of drifting into Golden Slumbers. But Do You Want To Know A Secret? I’ve followed the Long and Winding Road and I’m no longer the Fool on the Hill. Here Comes the Sun and I Will Follow the Sun.
Dizzy Miss Lizzy
Oh Darling,
Get Back! I’ve Got to Get You Into My Life. Please Let It Be and let’s Come Together. I Should Have Known Better and I know that This Boy has to Carry That Weight. You too have had your affairs with that
Mean Mr. Mustard, the Taxman and that Paperback Writer and you surely enjoyed Maxwell’s Silver Hammer in the Norwegian Wood. I have become a Nowhere Man. I am a Loser. I’m Down. I’ve become so delusional that I told my psychologist that I am the Walrus Back in the U.S.S.R. But I know that I’ve Got to Get You Into My Life. Your Mother Should Know that You Really Got a Hold on Me and that I’m Happy Just to Dance With You. I Should Have Known Better but We Can Work it Out With a Little Help From My Friends. Love Me Do.
From Me to You.
Jude
Hey Jude,
If you agree to Act Naturally Eight Days a Week I’ve Got a Feeling, In Spite All the Danger, that to rehabilitate, All You Need is Love. I’ve Got a Feeling that You’ll Be Mine but You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away. I know that your affairs happened Yesterday and I believe that All Things Must Pass. So buy a Ticket To Ride on the Yellow Submarine and let’s start Something new. Don’t Let Me Down otherwise You’re Going to Lose That Girl.
All My Loving,
Lizzie
The one million dollar sales price will likely start a Revolution.
(More excerpts from famous musicians' diaries and letters - Pundamania style- in The Misfortune 500: Pundamania™. Buy the book. Have a puntastic laugh!)
www.pundamania.com
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